


Adaptation

by my inner glow (misha_anon)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Community: spnkink_meme, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Human Castiel, M/M, No Sex, Prompt Fill, Protective Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 09:58:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1004038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misha_anon/pseuds/my%20inner%20glow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Castiel tries to hide his fear, but he's not very good at it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adaptation

**Author's Note:**

> _Drabble fill for[this](http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/76256.html?thread=27581664#t27581664) prompt._

"Please don't look at me, Dean," Castiel can hear the pleading in his own voice, feel the way it cracks.  He backs away from the headless vampire's body that's crumpled on the ground at his feet, staring at it as the bridge of his nose burns with the effort of stopping his tears.  He can feel Dean staring and he _hates_  it.

"Cas.."  Dean's voice is soft.  "Hey.. "

Castiel can't bring himself to look at Dean, too afraid of what he'll see.  He loses the battle with himself, feeling tears flood into his eyes, his jaw tightening and his throat constricting.  Dean is moving slowly closer, edging around the body on the floor.  When Castiel backs away, Dean stops and reaches out a hand instead, fingers spread wide and palm down as though to calm him.

Now that the danger has passed and he managed to keep himself together long enough to kill the vampire, Castiel feels his knees shake with fear.  What if he _hadn't_ kept it together?  What if the vampire had gotten the upper hand?  Castiel's shoulders shake as he fights the urge to throw up at the thought of other possible outcomes.

He barely notices when Dean's fingers wrap gingerly around his forearm.  He closes his eyes against the burn of tears and reaches up to rub hard at his forehead even as he leans heavily against the wall behind him.  All he can hear is the thump of his own heart, louder than it should be from the adrenaline still coursing through his veins.

"C'mon, look at me."

Castiel swallows the lump in his throat and rubs his eyes, nodding as he tries to will away the fear and the tears that threaten to spill over any second.  It's been a month since he fell, a month since he learned the reality of human emotions - elation, terror, pain, embarrassment.  He felt them all before, dull, through the layers of his grace.  They never took root, though, before he looked up at Metatron holding his grace.

He drops his hand slowly, dragging his fingertips down his cheeks before he opens his eyes.  Dean has stepped closer, too close for comfort, and suddenly Castiel feels the need to hide again.  When he finally meets Dean's gaze, he doesn't find the expected disappointment or anger.  Instead he sees pity.

"It's okay, Cas."  Dean's hands are warm on Castiel's forearms, his touch light as they slide slowly up his arms to his shoulders.  "It's okay to be scared."

Castiel bristles at the charge, the warm flush of embarrassment creeping up the back of his neck.  He looks away, staring with unfocused eyes at the opposite wall.  He swallows again and wets his lips before he whispers thickly, "I'm not scared."

"Okay," Dean agrees quickly, one hand sliding up to palm the side of Castiel's neck gently.  "Okay, maybe you weren't, but I was."

He doesn't want to look, but the tenderness in Dean's voice makes him.  Castiel is slow to move, the bridge of his nose on fire with unshed tears.  When his eyes finally meet Dean's again, he looks more carefully, forcing himself to focus through the tears that brim on his eyelashes.  What he sees isn't pity, it's tender concern.

Castiel can feel his bottom lip trembling, his jaw clenching tight as he struggles one last time to control this tidal wave of emotion.  The pad of Dean's thumb tracing lightly down the curve of his jaw is Castiel's undoing.  His shoulders heave with a deep breath, and the threatening tears finally fall.  His body is wracked by sobs, his knees shaking harder with the knowledge he's alive and _safe_.

He doesn't know what will happen next, but the last thing he expects is the feeling of Dean's arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him into a tight embrace.  His sobs shake them both as Dean sways with him and strokes fingertips up and down his spine, the motion soothing though Castiel doesn't understand why.

"He could have killed me, Dean," Castiel chokes out finally, burying his face against Dean's shoulder as the relief of the tearful confession rolls through his body.

"Shhh," Dean whispers against his temple, pressing a gentle kiss as he raises one hand to curve protectively against the back of Castiel's head.  He pulls him tighter, strokes down the back of his neck.  Dean's voice sounds choked and strange to Castiel's ears when he murmurs, "Nobody's gonna hurt you on my watch."


End file.
